A Catastrophic Loss

24x48
Mixed Media on Canvas
2023

If you look up symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, you’re confronted with a bevy of worse-than-the-last effects. One of the most repeated is unstable relationship.

A recurrent theme in my life, I have become close to many people, and have lost them. Through mostly fault of my own. I have difficulty with boundaries and emotional regulation and attachment. People leave. And I completely understand. I’m working on it.

I lost two really important people in 2022. Once beautiful relationships deteriorated right in front of my eyes. I had to mourn. When I experience loss like this, I sometimes become catatonic.

I was so overcome with loss and grief in January that I could pretty much only sit in front of the tv. I always need to be doing something with my hands, so I started crafting these tiny paper stars just to keep a sense of routine and progress I guess? I made thousands.

Through grief comes learning. Comes growth. I am learning to be grateful for the changes in my life because they can only move me forward. Pain is ephemeral. I decided to weave the stars into the canvas and intermix them with the harsh diagnosis of what I was going through: THE catastrophic loss of chosen family. The stars, called “lucky stars”, are tiny reminders of joy and light in the midst of loss.

BE WELL

Mixed Media Sculpture
2023

As I get older, my fear of final goodbyes intensifies. There’s less time to make amends, to reunite. When people remove themselves from my life, they often offer platitudes: “I wish the best for you”, “I have no ill will”, and most stingingly, a simple “be well”. This piece presents these goodbyes as saccharine well wishes. On the inside, you see what they really signify: abandonment.

In the end, though, I can choose to eat the cake.

CHERRIES

18x24
Mixed Media Collage
2022

SOLD

EAT THE RICH

18x24
Mixed Media Collage
2019

SOLD

Gillian

18x36
Colored Pencil on Paper

SOLD

If I Could Just Get My Mind Right

Colored Pencil on Insulation Foam
2023

OK, Great

Mixed Media
18x14
2015
As seen in Collision Literary Magazine

On Being Single in Charleston

Gouache on Paper
18x36
2022

Self Portrait 2018

Charcoal Collage
20x24
2018

Three Machines

Acrylic on Wood Panel
36x48
2019